Where's a Genie When You Need Him?

Nesticleez: "I wish you really were Empress of the world."

Genie, if you're out there, get on it.

Imperial Dictionary Entries #14-20: The DFS Entries

As DFS is one of the most active and ubiquitous members of the FSE's - being the Ministress with the most responsibilities, this entry is a feeble attempt to elaborate on her incomprehensible self.

Entertainment (,εntә’teιnmәnt), n.: 1. one of DFS’s (see DFS) roles, in which she is required to provide the FSE’s (see FSE) with amusement, usually by providing a daily dose of jokes (see jokes).

Fence (fεns), n.: glorious building erected by them Israelis in an attempt to prevent those savage Palestinians from ruining the world. One can be either in front of it or behind it; in front being the better option, as it means one is not one of those savages.

Inspiration (.ιnspι’reι∫әn), n.: one of DFS’s (see DFS) and the GMSL’s (see GMSL) roles, where they pursue the stimulation or arousal of the Imperial minds, feelings, etc. of the Co-Empresses of Hendika (see Hendika), to special activity or creativity.

Jokes (dʒәυks), n.: humorous anecdotes provided by DFS (see DFS), the First Ministress of Entertainment and Inspiration (MoEI) of the Hendika (see Hendika) Empire.

Ministress (‘mιnιstrεs), n.: 1. a female head of a government department. 2. any female diplomatic agent accredited to a foreign government or head of state. [C13: via OF from L: servant; rel. to minus less]

Nidal (‘nιdæl), n.: handsome character in Empirical fantasyland in a mysterious relationship with MoEI DFS (see DFS) when stranded behind the fence (see fence); he seems to have grown a beard – tune in for upcoming episodes of this soap opera love story in coming emails from DFS to the FSE’s (see FSE) and Empresses.

Palestinians (,pælιstιnιәnz), n.: 1. those people scattered all around the earth in a sad attempt to ruin said earth. Receive blame for everything that might go wrong. Favourite phrase: "it's my/our fault". 2. DFS's people, of whom she is the most famous and high-ranking individual in the Empire.

Introducing the FSE's (Imperial Dictionary entries #s5-13)

FSE (εf εs i:) , abbrev. for Faithful Subjects of the Empire: official title bestowed upon the founding members of the Hendika (see Hendika) Empire.

These are:

Bambi (bæm’bi:), n.: 1. daughter of Co-Empress Erika-Marie of the Empire of Hendika (see Hendika). 2. Queen of the Airheads of Hendika. 3. Useless heiress to the Hendika throne. –ness.

Birdie (bз:di:), n.: 1. official message relater of the Empire of Hendika (see Hendika). 2. imaginary bird of flight used to distract oneself and others from disastrous predicament at hand ~n.

DFS (di: εf εs), abbrev. for Dolly ‘Folly’ Shahine: 1. The Empire of Hendika’s (see Hendika) First Ministress of Entertainment and Inspiration (MoEI). Noted for her notorious whirlwind relationship with Nidal (see Nidal). 2. the Empire of Hendika’s best FSE (see FSE). 3. provider of daily jokes (see jokes) to the FSE’s of the Empire of Hendika.

Dinamite (‘daιn,maιt), n.: 1. renegade princess of the Empire of Hendika (see Hendika) constantly plotting a coup of some sorts in an attempt to rebel against the Empresses for over-pampering her. 2. official but useless First Notary of the Empire of Hendika. [C?: from DINA + ‘M’ + ITE]

Fairy (‘fεrι), n.: a tiny creature in the Empire of Hendika (see Hendika) meant to grant the Empresses and FSE’s (see FSE) all their wishes. Does not function/work in times of official vacation. Known to wear cute dresses and hold a magic wand. Word has it she can even fly.

GMSL (di: εm εs εl), abbrev. for Grand Master and Spiritual Leader: 1. FSE (see FSE) entrusted with the job of advising and guiding the Co-Empresses of Hendika (see Hendika) in the direction of righteousness. 2. see Scvaxx.

Pink Suede Elephants (pιηk sweιd ‘εlιfnt), n.: The three official imaginary friends of the First Co-Empress of Hendika (see Hendika), Eureka.

Scvaxx (∫’væks), n.: 1. first GMSL (see GMSL) of the Empire of Hendika (see Hendika). [C21: from ACJ sessions Scvaxx kaleidoscope of Sabuna Island and Safingaland]

Imperial Dictionary Entries #3 & 4 (as they are closely related)

Focus (the Diva likes to FUCK US!), n.: 1. to be used in conjunction with hoppa (see hoppa) to encourage one to pay attention to the work the Diva (see Diva) likes to pile on the poor FSEs and Empresses (see Hendika). 2. clever pun actually meaning fuck-us, or as the German-speaking members of the FSEs like to say, foch-us, mainly used whenever the Diva is mentioned.

Hoppa (HOBBA!), adv, Egy. Inf.: 1. outcry, call for immediate action, used in the context of despair and utter zan2a (being stuck). Primarily applied by both Empresses (see Hendika) and the Ministress of Entertainment and Inspiration, DFS (see DFS). 2. heard in football matches in the context of hoppa eh, hoppa ah ... and complemented by:
a) insha2allah haneksab (God willing, we will win)
b) insha2allah hanes2at (God willing, we will fail)
[C?: from Egypt colloquial hobba!]

Imperial Dictionary Entry #2

Diva (conflicting emotions), n.: 1. Public and International Law professor. 2. mentor to Empresses (see Hendika) and FSEs (see FSE). 3. mean, unbearable, inconsiderate, tyrant/bastard, yet entirely loveable and loved hilarious person who teaches as a hobby and likes to push Empresses and FSEs to the very ends of our limits; claims to think of them as the children he never had. 4. has a deep, repressed ambition of starring in a movie with or as Julia Roberts.

Introducing the Empire of Hendika

During inane classes where a monotonous drone explaining the workings of Egypt's Supreme Court lulled and ushered us into the land of fluffy clouds and unicorns, a couple of us struggled to stay awake by establishing a world where I was (and still am, by the way) supreme ruler of all you survey. This utopia is known as the Empire of Hendika.

The Empire of Hendika was co-ruled by yours truly and my good friend Hendo-Nintendo, who insisted on having a hyphenated name as she was jealous of my own given name's hyphenated glory.

The Empire was complete with Ministers, who comprised of other people suffering in class, a coat of arms, and all sorts of things befitting the Empire of the World.

Among our more unique creations was the Imperial Dictionary, in which Her Imperial Highness Eureka, Ruler of All You Survery, compiled all the made up words and phrases we concocted in our boredom. The Imperial Dictionary of the Empire of Hendika is currently in its 7th Edition, and is updated regularly.

In order to acquaint you, dear readers, with the Empire, HIH Eureka will occasionally post definitions from the Imperial Dictionary.

Today's word is: Empire of Hendika

Hendika, Empire of (Ooooooh, aaaaah), n.: Hendika and the territories under its control, which continues to grow as its Co-Empresses Eureka and Hendo-Nintendo pursue an aggressive expansionist policy. Currently embraces over a quarter of the world’s population and land surface. The Empire's official colours are orange and brown, representing the Co-Empresses' personal preferences. It enjoys a unique system of rule, combining the Co-Empresses whims with the advice of the Grand Master and Spiritual Leader (GMSL) and the requests of the Faithful Subjects of the Empire (FSE's) who have ministerial posts.