I miss thinking that I could write.
I miss that feeling of a deep and ardent need to get what was floating around in my head out on paper or screen as quickly and eloquently as possible.
I miss feeling that if I didn't get that thought out I'd go mad because the thought would keep permeating every nerve cell in my brain until my mind either exploded or my whole body just ceased to function entirely.
All that remains is a nagging disappointment at my inability to formulate a decent semi-interesting idea to share with my notebook, my laptop, Blogger, or you.
All that remains is frustration and self-disgust. What kind of person who reads and is continually enamored by varied and celebrated literature, who loves the act of writing for its own worth as an art-form, who can argue the merits of a semicolon and who is genuinely heartbroken when a book is mistreated or *gasp* unread cannot find something - anything - to think or say or write? Why can I only complain about my inability to write?
I don't even read as often as I'd like to anymore. I don't even make the effort to. I don't make the effort to do anything at all anymore. It isn't even the problem of being stuck in a routine. I don't even feel like making an effort to make a change to the routine. I'm 22 years old and I have subconsciously given up on life. What is wrong with this picture? What is wrong with me?
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6 comments:
u refuse to share ur emotions, ur innermost feelings with ppl, that is something a good writer like urself cannot afford to do.
i think u need to let go when u write, u need to stop thinking what will be impressive and what will sound smart, just write as if no one will ever read what ur writing. start babbling on a fresh word document and things will flow, even if u don't publish it u'll be happy i guess :)
I think you only think I'm a good writer because you're my friend oh lovely dfs. I also don't even have anything to say to myself when I want to just write as if no one will ever read what I'm writing. How disappointingly dull and just plain STUPID is that?
Eurek, you ARE a great writer. Don't ever doubt that. You just need to be in the mood. I agree with DFS - just start and you'll get there eventually. Your loyal readers need it!
Eureka I have followed your blog almost from day one and I have to say I have been always impressed with the way you write and your way with words. I know you are a perfectionist when it comes to writing which is perfectly normal.
I think your only problem is that you place lots of barriers when it comes to sharing feelings and emotions with others. I respect such a stance, and I am actually more or less like you to some extent when it comes to dealing with thoughts and emotions. The way a person chooses to deal with their feelings and thoughts is something very personal.
If you decide to share your thoughts with readers you will have much more to write about. If you choose to deal with them in more convenient ways I hope that you are always satisfied and happy.
It's posts like these that make me more and more interested in your blog.
Grapers, I can make so many leery gags about being in the mood. I think I may have burst a nostril due to suppressed snortage. Thank you!
And anonymous, thank you very much. Your comment means a lot. Thank you for your loyalty, your support and your encouragement.
POST! POST! POST!
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