As usual, my mother outdid herself. Yes, mother because I will never move a muscle if I can get away with it. Great setting, delicious food and zero effort from me. Who could ask for more?
What struck me most last night was the fact that it now requires an entire pre-planned dinner to gather my friends together. Not only are they all from different groups with divergent interests and dissimilar routines (I have a thing for alliteration), but since graduation, we have no common forum to find each other at on a regular basis.
Take Mrs. Fallon, for example. Since spending a week in London with her last November, I haven't seen her once. It took a dinner invitation to get together. It isn't like we live on different sides of the city, or we don't speak on a regular basis. We just haven't had the time or reason aside from a normal social call to hang out. Sad but true.
It's the same with Roonies and Bambi. From the summer of 2005 to the spring of 2007 we were inseparable. Then we graduated. Then Bambi went off to Geneva for a semester. Then work took over our lives. Today, we're lucky if we see each other once a month, even though Bambi and I work in the same building. Today, I only see Cheb Khaled on a regular basis, and that is likely to change sooner rather than later.
Flipping through Facebook, I cannot believe how many people I've lost touch with. So many people I counted as very close friends. People I've grown up with, had countless adventures with, helped through deaths, break-ups, exams and other difficult moments. People I at one point could not imagine my life without.
I've come to realize that I can be cruelly indifferent towards people, regardless of the intensity past or current relationships. Does that make me heartless? Does that put my compassion or humanity into question? Why can I go for such long stretches without feeling the need to be a social creature? I am just as happy lounging around my house watching shows or reading or just chilling with the family as I am out with my friends. I don't know if this is healthy because there are so few out there who would admit to feeling this way at my age.
Last year, my first resolution for 2009 was "I will rekindle my friendships and reestablish my social circles by going out more often". Although that was fulfilled to some degree, I still need work because I refuse to allow my hermit tendencies to resurface.
So, for 2010, let's keep the friendships rolling and who knows? Maybe even add a few more.
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2 comments:
it is sad but rekindling is just that, nothing more nothing less.
from personal experience i've resolved that people do grow apart, and when we (old friends and i) get together it's just few healthy belly aching laughs and maybe a few tears. but our only link is past we share nothing in the here and now.
they've chosen a path which does not cross with mine and life makes it hard for our paths to converge, even when we try it's never the same and our past just looms over everything around us.
great piece and sorry for being a negative nader.
Eureka, I don't think anything about what you're feeling is unnatural. People grow up, relationships change, interests diverge. It's the friends that always come back and that you can always pick up with that really matter - and as long as those people are around, you don't need much more.
Thanks again (to your mom!) for a great evening, and here's to seeing you before your next Christmas dinner.
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