With Friends Like These...

Six of my friends and I have a little email group, where we keep each other mildly entertained during our tedious working days. Sort of like a breather in the middle of report-writing, a silent laugh during a long meeting – basically, a much needed change of pace in our daily monotony.

However, not everyone is as active as we'd like, so my friend Roonies and I have taken to becoming ring leaders of the laugh parade; we stage elaborate arguments to keep everyone entertained.

We are becoming increasingly stupid, to the point where it would be sacrilegious of me not to share our absurdity with you.
Sunday 27th January, 2008:

After the usual good mornings and what not, Roonies and I begin discussing our favourite subject, T.V. shows:

Eureka: I'm almost finished with Brothers and Sisters. I'm ready to cry at the thought of not having more episodes. Get on it, Roonies.

Roonies: Up your ass Eurekleez. Nesticleez and I don't like the fact that you only download when it suits you or when you feel like it!

Eureka: I don't download. Period. And I won't until you move your ass and buy me a new laptop to download with.

Roonies: Did dumbo magically appear on your laptop?
American gangster?
Grey's?
ONE TREE HILL?

Eureka: American gangster was taken from ak, I didn't download grey's, and Bloft secretly downloaded OTH for me. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT YOU INCONGRUOUS FLOOZY.

FURTHERMORE, as we seem to be counting, please remember who did a huge chunk of the downloading for a good 18 months before my laptop decided to scream uncle. ME. UNGRATEFUL PIG.

Roonies: I WILL KILLL YOU!
Remember when you had downloaded grey's up until episode nine and were begging me to watch???? Bastard!

Eureka: REMEMBER WHEN THAT WAS BEFORE THE DEMISE OF MY LAPTOP YOU IDIOT? Roonies you need to get your dates and facts straight. Selective memory doesn't suit you.

Roonies: Eureka that was your post-demise laptop phase. Nesticleez will back me up.
It's okay. Me and nes are fine with downloading. Just say it. Say that you use us and abuse us for our internet connections.

Eureka: I do not use and abuse. I greatly appreciate you downloading. Although you'd both be doing it anyway so I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of it Roonies. I never bullied you when I was doing the lion's share. This is what I get huh? For shame Roonies.

Roonies: When did I EVER take things from you, asshole?
You managed to download 12 episodes of six feet under for me. Other than that you hooked Tootsie up. I did all the downloading for myself before. Now it's time for you to get YOUR shit straight.

Eureka: You both took shows from me. You just choose to remember the more recent events. And if you're SOO annoyed then fine, don't download anything. You're starting to show your true colours, and they're ugly.

Petty selfish loser.

Roonies: Erikleez, tell me, what did I EVER take from you. Prior to the show swapping that started this season, I took nothing. NOTHING. Don't confuse me with Tootsie, you bastard.

And just say it, just like you had slaves who drove you around. Now nes and I are your internet slaves. Admit to your almighty high horse. Just admit that you are scum.

Eureka: Roonies. TAKE A POLE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.

Roonies: You know I'm right.
Don't hate the playa, mothafucka. Hate the game. And you can't play it. get over it. admit it.

Eureka: What are we doing this evening?

Roonies: Nes has an eye appointment. So I don't think anything. Would you like to chill with me in helio, ms scumbag?

Aren't we a lovable bunch?