Earning My Keep

You'll find that I haven't written as much as I usually do this month. You'll find that my links to the Internet's more humorous miscellanea have dwindled as well. Contrary to what David Hayes' otherwise spot on description of the death of a blog says, this is not Eurekaisms' final moments. Far from it, Eurekaisms has become as vital to me as my left butt cheek. Yes, the one I use to keep my pot-belly balanced. The reason I am less available this month is simple, beautiful people. Drumroll, please.

[dudududududududududududuududududududrrrrrrrrrummmmmm]

I quit my job and am now a proud new high-end escort. For inquiries, references, cost sheets, and bookings, kindly leave your number in the comments section and my agency will contact you shortly.

I love my new job. I arrive at the agency around 10am, where I organize my agenda to avoid double-bookings (bad for business; men don't like to think they're not your only one), I do extensive research on the latest tricks of the trade and generally keep myself updated on all things escort related, shop for designer gowns, shoes, and accessories, and compare notes with the other gorgeous girls in the business.

Then, every day at precisely 4:55, after already having exhausted myself primping and preparing, the agency's head calls me into his office and hands me my assignments. Sometimes, these meetings involve the head honchoes, which means it's a long and important meeting involving finances. Others, it involves conference calls with clients, meaning it'll be a long day.

Like today, for instance. Mr. Boss Man called at 4:55, and said "Eureka, come up for a conference call. It starts in five minutes."

Eureka thinks what conference call? Why am I always the last person told about everything?

I rush upstairs and spend the next 2 hours and 10 minutes listening to a client bullshit his way out of answering questions vital to closing the deal, all while my boss's boss becomes increasingly aggitated and gives up at 6:15 and leaves. I had no real purpose at that call. I wasn't even introduced to the people on the other side. But seeing as I've been working on this deal all month, I guess they felt I had to be there. Just in case the divine rays decide to shine down on my feeble mind and present the bosses with the fruits of such inspiration.

On the one hand, I love the fact that my boss is beginning to involve me with more projects and give me more opportunity to bring something to the table. It means I'm seen as more than just the kid they hired because they felt like rejecting my resume would be a waste of potential. It means I've proved them right, and that my potential is being to actualize, regardless of how slow or undertrained this actualization may be.

But does the work always have to start at 5pm, just as I'm getting ready to leave? Do I really have to give up my soul to the corporate dragon in order to keep my head above water? I'd like to have enough energy to have a quarter of a life after work. I hate relegating myself to the weekends. It means I'm actually earning my pitiful salary.

Ugh. Who'd have thought I'd manage to succeed at chemical poo?