Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Ode to Crackhead in Highlighter Yellow

I finally got my foot checked out yesterday to appease my father's growing concern.

When I told the doctor the story of how I banged it chasing after a bus, he waved his hand as said the foot is covered in tough veins and should be ok. Then he found out that this happened 25 days ago and that it is still uncomfortable and weak. His face did a little flip. He took one poke at my foot and said "You're not going to like me," then took an x-ray.

"You're really not going to like me now," he sighed. "See this line across here separating this piece from the rest of your foot?"

"Yes," I say, crossing my fingers. Please say that this isn't a break, please, please.

"This is where you broke it three weeks ago." Oh, snap. I was afraid of that. "And see these flecks of white around it? That's where your poor foot was trying to heal itself, but you snapped it off again yesterday. Good thing too, or else it would have healed incorrectly causing a lifetime of discomfort and complications."

He then went into the differences between old casts and new casts and basically insisted on a new-style cast in highlighter yellow.

So now I'm lugging a good 3 kilos of fluorescent resin shaped like a peep-toe boot engulfing my foot and leg up to my knee. In August (so much for the chance of a tan this year then). For an unspecified period because he said he couldn't tell me how long this would take to heal. All for a tiny little break I never noticed to begin with because I'd never broken anything before. Then again, you'd think it would hurt if you broke your foot, right? I was convinced this couldn't be more than a little sprain.

Who'da thunk it?

P.S. Bloft is loving this. She had her arm in a cast in June last year when she broke her wrist. Since August is even more of a bitch, she can't wait to watch me suffer as I try to itch inside with various tools. In her defence, she is being nice enough to give me tips. She recommended plastic over metal rulers to avoid infections and to fold sheets of A4 paper into ruler-shaped strips if necessary. Sunshine, who has ample experience with broken legs - having broken both - recommends knitting needles, if used with caution.

So my 6 and a half readers, all and any tips on dealing with this thing are very much appreciated :)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Itch Remedy.

1. Pour 4 ounces of Scotch into the vessel of your choice.

2. Drink.

3. Repeat.

I can't figure out how you'll fix your liver when you're done, but this will definite kill the itch.

Eureka said...

My liver's already fucked. No worries there.

Love the remedy. I'll keep you posted on its results.

Thanks Sinisterdan!

Anonymous said...

Hope you get better soon :)

Eureka said...

Thank you anonymous! :)

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