Goodnight Moon

Each month, around the full moon, a very strange spell is cast over the women of my household. Inexplicably, Eureka and the MILF find it impossible to fall asleep whenever the full moon is drifting across the Cairean skies. Bloft, being the spawner of Satan, is immune to this anomaly as she is neither human nor female.

This affliction of course begs the question: are we part werewolf or part vampire? Now, I would assume it to be the latter due to my whiter than white complexion, disenchantment with the sun and love for winter, penchant for morbidity and melancholy, and love for extremely undercooked meat. However, the hairiness of the women in this family is a strong indication of the former as is our love for extremely undercooked meat. Also, being a vampire would grant us cool powers, which we sadly don't have. Damn, no Cullen lovin' for me then.

The other night I could not for the life of me get to sleep. I tossed and turned and Twittered to no avail. I even had a short conversation with the Man on the Moon pleading that he sprinkle sleep dust on me so that I would be able to get up for work the next morning, but to no avail. Man on the Moon said, "Misery love company, so stay up and entertain me, bitch!" He's picked up a bit of a foul mouth over the years. Who can blame him, really?

But in the midst of my tossing, Twittering and monologuing to the Man on the Moon, a delirium-induced hypothesis came to mind. I think full moon insomnia must have been or maybe still is a pretty common occurrence given the predominance of the moon in literature. Think about it. Author is tucked in bed, nice and cosy, wishing to rest his or her weary body and soul for a morning of diligent, even if uninspired, writing. The hours tick by and author, let's call him Abraham Stoker for the sake of argument, is increasingly peeved by his inability to nod off. Bram looks up and notices the full moon. The moon then sets his imagination into overdrive, causing him to bang out a story about a scary ass vampire called, wait for it... DRACULA.

PUM PUM PUM PUUUUMMMMM!

So many major works feature the full moon. You've got the moon mentioned by Viktor Frankenstein on every other page (along with the wretched weather because he was weird that way, but I digress). C.S. Lewis created an entire world on the moon. Hughes wrote about the moon in the winter, while Desautels gives the moon a voice (probably where the Man on the Moon picked up some of his more imaginative language).

Hey, even I got a whole blog post out of the moon, so I just might be on to something here.