Don't You Just LOVE a Good Conspiracy Theory?

Sometimes, you’re faced with the curse (or blessing, depends on which way you look at it) of a slow day at work. That’s not a particularly bad thing to have to endure if it is a welcome respite in the midst of an otherwise hectic week, month – what have you. I have been blessed with several slow days recently.

Mind-numbingly slow days.

So slow that I have actually managed to read every single available article on the New York Times website.

Yes, even the classifieds.

And the society pages with those nauseating wedding announcments.

And even the corrections.

It has been so slow recently that the boys and I have been enjoying wondrously long lunch hours, where our discussions have deviated from normal stock talk to a medley of unlikely topics.

Today’s topic: Freemasonry. For those unacquainted with the Freemasons, they are basically a secret society (read: fraternity) established sometime in the seventeenth century for powerful men, on an astonishingly large scale.

This initial mention of the Freemasons led to a conspiracy theorist discussion of how the world’s major decisions are controlled by the desires of the Grand Master of the Freemasons, who – after hand picking world leaders – has them follow his commands, lest he has them killed. Because that’s the rule. If you’re a Freemason, you have to follow orders. Or else they kill you.

So, good ol’ George Dubbya invaded Iraq because the Freemasons told him to. Israel was created because the Freemasons declared it so. The conversation went on, declaring several influential families to be of the Freemasonic clan.

Now, I don’t claim to believe in a conspiracy theory involving a higher world order dictating international politics. But, I have to admit, the idea of some old geezers sitting around with cigars and whisky in some historic lodge playing a game of chess or Risk – and using the entire world as their playing pieces – would explain a lot of the stupidities Man has concocted over the last four centuries or so. I just think it makes for a pretty funny mental image. Hmmm, if I kill off 6 million or so Jews, that would lead to a FUN four year war culminating in the deployment of the atomic bomb. Good times!

In other news, the baby spit up into my cleavage. Again. He finds pleasure in doing that. Little bastard.