Some of you may be wondering what's been keeping me busy enough to not whine about work lately. It's quite simple really. Easily encompassed in one word.
Manure.
Otherwise known as crap, shit, poo, caca, khara, and a multifarious assortment of other such synonyms.
You may think I'm merely describing what is keeping me busy. You are most certainly mistaken. I am not using the term as an adjective. I am using it as a noun.
Yes, I am quite literally up to my elbows in shit as I research the fertilizer industry.
Ask me why chemical fertilizers are so much more efficient than animal fertilizers (a.k.a manure). Go on, ask. Simply because chemicals contain a lot more nitrogen and other nutrients than normal manure.
Ask me what the main nutrients are. Nitrogen, Phosphorous and Potassium.
Ask me anything and I will answer.
I am a bona fide expert in chemical poo.
Quite fitting, too, seeing as chemical poo is so much more elitist than normal animal poo.
Elitist Eureka does not do animal poo. She sticks to her own.
Chemical poo is so much more refined than animal poo.
Look at me, poo saleswoman of the year.
Seriously, I should be hired to endorse chemical poo. I'd make the company a killing marketing chemical poo as the rich man's exclusive poo.
It's genius I tell you. GENIUS!
14 years ago
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5 comments:
*Fesh, now a prospective buyer of Eureka's "chemical poo" (that doesn't sound right btw), sits back and wonders:
But what about the glorious stink of manure? Does this pathetic chemical poo have an equivalently annoying stink that is usually indicative of how fresh and rich with nutrients it is?
My dear misinformed Feshfesh, you have fallen into the fallacious trap that leads you to believe there is a positive correlation between the smell of manure and freshness/nutritious value.
In fact, manure is scientifically proven to contain little nutritious value – if at all – as the animal has already taken the nutrients out of the ingested food. On the other hand, chemical poo is rich in all the nutrients your crops need.
For the stench that accompanies animal poo, one can easily replicate it for free in the bathroom.
haha now that sounds like an interesting job to work on
good luck with that
the egyptian fertilizer industry is going to experience a huge boom soon so you can become the best saleswomen for it, farmers and agricultral corporations will come knocking at your doors
hahaha thanks for the tip ;)
bah.... I don't buy your claim that chemical poo is better than manure and that it was "scientifically proven". That sounds exactly like what the 'chemical poo lobby' would want us to believe.... evil corporations that would do anything for the extra dough.... pathetic.
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