Let me begin by saying I realise that I had no reason to find the boss' paying for dinner unacceptable. It is merely Eureka finding more and more reasons not to date the date. Eureka has decided not to date the charming, cute, smitten date for the following reasons:
1. He is 31. Usually, I prefer a large age difference. In this case, it serves as nothing more than a thick red line emphasising his immaturity. He may be 31, but he thinks, speaks, texts, and flirts like he's a 7-year-old boy trying to convince his mummy to buy him the latest action figure - the action figure in this case being making me his future wife.
2. That's another problem. We only met ten days ago, but he's already imagining our names monogrammed on our towels. That began even before the first date. After the date he was naming our children and choosing the breed of dog we'd have. He is saying this to a girl who is the personification of commitment-phobia. Role reversal, anyone?
3. Zero ambition. I need my men to want to make something of themselves. It's hot. At 31 he has no set career path, and has been bouncing around from job to job for the last 8 years. He started in advertising, and worked for a few months at a time at three or four different companies. The decided that the advertising industry in Egypt didn't suit him because he wasn't immediately doing what he wanted to do. Um, rising up the ladder might have helped you do that, date, don't you think? Then he worked in hotels and development for a bit. Didn't like his boss. Fair enough. Now he runs the golf operations at some gated community. He says he plans on switching to another gated community and might stick to it for a while since the job is laid back and demands little effort. So you're a lazy schmuck. So not attractive.
I will say, however, that he is a lovely boy. But that the problem. I shouldn't be calling him a boy at 31. I'm the problem, really. I have high expectations. I need to be impressed.
Granted, I'm insanely difficult to please. But I'm 21. I shouldn't need to consider settling yet. I have the right to still believe my Mr. Perfect is out there.
And if worst comes to worst, I doubt I'll have a problem wooing the date back in a few years.
14 years ago
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7 comments:
Wow, kids names and what kind of dog, on the first date, is a textbook case of moving-too-fast! :)
But man, you mentioned you just met the dude, so maybe giving things time would help, no? I mean 10 days and 1 date aint enough for him to jump to what kind of dog you guys will have and with the same token, maybe, you should give him more time to redeem himself?
Though I kinda agree that a mismatch when it comes to ambitions in a relationship is usually a killer. This usually leads to a significant compromise on the very same thing that got you here and will keep you going: your ambitions. Maybe I'm just sel-fesh!
Yes, I could have given him a little time. But what's the point, really? If he doesn't want to make something from himself and isn't able to commit to a job for a significant length of time, then how can he be expected to be relationship material? I don't think I have the patience to coddle a fragile male ego if I'm more ambitious and successful at 21 than he is at a decade older.
I'm sel-fesh, too :)
Hey
Guys tend to start feeling and acting more responsible when they are in a relationship.
I would expect this guy to take his job and career more seriously soon.
Give him some time and don't rush into things. I would also recommend that you inform him of some of the stuff you wrote in your blog. Guys can't understand the messages that women send them most of the time and they don't notice the small things that annoy you. Transparency can get this thing moving forward and the lack of it will definetely kill it.
No ambition at 31? That's no good. Not at all dateable.
I know right? Thank you, Sarah! And welcome to the blog :)
Thirty year old men are just about ready to settle down, no matter how immature they seem. There is this switch that turns on the even of their 30th birthday, sort of like the male version of a biological clock. If you're not ready to settle down I suggest either (1) men your own age, who aren't ready to settle down or (2) men over the age of 50 who don't want to settle down.
Otherwise you're just going to keep running into the towel monogrammers.
Plus you should date someone totally hot and rich with a single brother for me. GET ON IT!
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