Family Follies #1

My aunt is driving my 11-year-old cousin to a friend's house the other day. Upon arrival, my cousin opens the car door, scrunches her face, lets out a whopper fart, jumps out with a big goofy grin on her face, looks at her mother and says, "so you remember me all the way home."


"Eureka, Eureka, come quick!"
Eureka grudgedly gets off her ass and shuffles to where Munchkin (aka the younger sister aka the Devil Incarnate) is sitting.
"What is it, loser?"
Munchkin grabs Eureka's left boob and *squuuuueeeeezzeessss* while pinching Eureka's right.
"No, mine are still firmer. You can go now."


Space Cadet (aka the youngest and the boy): Munchkin, where's the baby?
Munchkin: Under the bed.
Space Cadet leans over and peers under the bed expectantly. He finds no infant.
Space Cadet [in same monotone]: Munchkin, where's the baby?