Tuesday 29th January's Broody Bunch Conversation

A friend announces that he has received his long-awaited exemption from Egypt's army conscription, and has received his new, much smaller, Egyptian passport. Egyptians passports used to be the size of a refrigerator. Apparently, they are now the standard passport size.

Eureka: No way, passports are smaller? Wicked! And mabrouk re: exemption! Glad the navy won't have to pummel you :P

Roonies: The army/military, not the navy you idiot.

Eureka: He would have been in the navy because he's from Alexandria, IDIOT.

Roonies: I will kill you. You make me mad.

Eureka: You bring it upon yourself.

Roonies: Oh! And just so you know, you ASSHOLE, not only do you not do the downloading and make me and nes do it, you ALSO neglect to freaking look up where we stopped. But you have hours and hours and hours to write on your dumb blog. I shall reveal to nes what she needs to download. Actually, I shall reveal it to the WORLD. And, you shall be punished. No shows will be provided to you until further notice.

Eureka: Oh, and let's see you download/swap shows when I have nes's hard drive :P :P

Roonies: I'll walk into your house before you get there and get what is rightfully ours.

Let it be known that my job is a lot more important than yours, ms. "I'm international law/political science but couldn't find a decent paying job so I decided to sell my soul and join the corporate world."

Also, let it be known that your blog used to be funny. Now it’s just lame.

Eureka: It's lame because you've sucked all the fun out of my life. And you sold your soul years before I did, so you can't use that as a jab, loser.

Roonies: It's my passion; it's the path I chose because I love it.

You on the other hand decided to join the bandwagon because you have no soul, because you are useless, because you are bland.

Eureka: The fact that I am able to make this sort of switch shows that I am an intelligent, well-rounded individual. You, on the other hand, are the useless, soulless, bland one because you can't do anything but what has been drilled into your head for 4+ years. Let's see you make a major switch and succeed.

Roonies: Let's see you graduate with three majors less two courses and still say that I can't do anything except what's been drilled into my mind for 4+ years.

Oh, and graduate with a 3.9+.

Eureka: Easy as pie.

Roonies: Keep telling yourself that.

Eureka: Hey, if you could do it my cousin's pet tortoise could.

Roonies: Sucks to know that your cousin's pet tortoise is smarter than you because as I recall you struggled with just the one major.

Eureka: I'd hardly call it struggling. I just preferred to have an active social life. Because there's more to life than hitting the books.

Roonies, no one seems to be paying attention to this… why are we bothering to entertain them?

Rania: I don't know Eurokleez. If we drew our swords right now, no one would care.

Spaz: I would care!
I just didn't want to interrupt the...colorful flow you guys had going.

Roonies: You're the only one Spaz. The others don't give a rat's buttocks. However Eureka and I enjoy our fights.

Eureka: yes we do. False sense of importance and all that.

Roonies: Dead serious about the shows, you dimwit.

Eureka: I'll get on the damn episode check when I have time, nutcase.

Roonies: Already done, asshole.

Eureka: If you're so self-sufficient, why did you make me do the whole writer's strike dates check last week, you peabrained numbskull

Roonies: Because you take advantage of everyone that's around you. This is the least you can do to return alllllll our favors.

And what do I care about the writer's strike dates. You misunderstood. All I needed from you was where we were at. Jerk.

Eureka: If I'm such a leeching burden why are you even my friend? Hypocrite.

Roonies: Who said we were friends asshole? I only speak to you because I love your family.

Eureka: You have my parents' numbers. Why waste your time on the annoying middleman? Speak to them directly and get out of my big fat face.

Roonies: Your big fat face does me a lot of good. It keeps me nice and skinny because I lose my appetite every time I see it.

Eureka: See? You do need me. You also need my big fat belly for your punching exercises.

Roonies: I need to break your big fat knees. I also need to break the uglier knees of your big fat ugly high horse.

Eureka: My knees are actually quite knobbly. However, you may enjoy breaking my big fat femurs. And my bug fat ugly high horse will never break. You will break yourself trying.

Roonies: I don't break, you ignoramus. You underestimate me.

Eureka: My high horse will break you.

Roonies: Your high horse is full of shit. As are you.

Eureka: That must make me and my horse particularly mouthwatering for you, seeing as you live to eat shit.

Roonies: One day you will drown in your own shit.

We break to discuss Brothers and Sisters and Friday Night Lights. After stating we love so-and-so on each show and would definitely go for them if they fixed this and that flaw:

Roonies: Don't think you'd be able to step off your high horse long enough to do that. You'd fall on your big fat face and break your big fat Jewish nose.

Eureka: Hmm... Good point. Although you'd be making a huge upgrade going for a drug addict or a gay man. They're both out of your league.

Roonies: Remind me again, who's been single her whole life?

Eureka: Other than you?

Roonies: That's your idea of a good comeback?

Eureka: That's your idea of an insult in the first place? Since when is being single an insult?

Roonies: No man wants to come near you. They smell your rotten soul miles and miles away.

We then lose interest and pretend to be working.