That 10 Random Facts Tag Thingie

Fesh has officially been blacklisted for the day because he decided to tag me with that 10 random or unknown facts thing. AND he had the audacity to challenge me to beat his number 8. Poor Fesh.

Let's get this over with then.

1. I have a deep and justified fear of strange Egyptian men in any public space. This is why I am extremely uncomfortable in a mall, or walking in the street, or being in an elevator if there are men anywhere in the vicinity. Random Egyptian men like to leer, grope and be generally unpleasant. This is why I am always frowning, grumpy and high-strung in public places. This is why I will not accept your invitation to go to the movies on a Thursday. Or any time where there is a spike in human traffic at the mall. I'm certain we can run a blog forever that posts grope/leer/icky men stories exclusively. Hey, that isn't a bad idea...

2. I am the lightest sleeper on the face of the planet. I think God forgot to give me the deeper realms of unconsciousness or whatever deep sleep is called. Not only do I always wake up from the 4:50am call to prayer from the 4 (or 50) mosques surrounding my building, but every Ramadan, I have nightly flipflop tossing matches with the mosaharati (traditionally, a man with a drum walks around the city reminding people to wake up to eat before fasting begins at dawn). I imagine him to be those ducks you try to shoot down at carnivals. This is made easier by my groggy, annoyed state. I have lost many a pair of flipflops this way. But it is worth it because once I hit him square on the forehead. He fell down. That is a night I will always be proud of.

3. On the subject of sleep, I used to sleepwalk as a child. Every night, I'd place my pillow in the bathroom sink, stumble to my mother's room and inform her in a snooty tone that "je veux du mickeymackamon" (i.e.: medicament: medicine). Because I couldn't quite pronounce medicament as a child. Then I would march back to my room without waiting for a response from my bemused mother, and only awaken when my head lands on the bed where my pillow should be. I'd launch a search hunt for my pillow and find it in the sink and ask my mother why she put it there. Always blame the mother.

4. I find it difficult to admit I am wrong if there is a way I can remain right. Capricorn trait. We try to twist and meander until we find a way in which we are right. Which is why I am always right. Hence, Eureka.

5. I hate coffee but drink it anyway. I need and crave routine to keep me going in the mornings. Because I am NOT a morning person. I begin each day as the evil dragon from The Sleeping Beauty and I will bite your head off if you aren't respectful of my space and completely ignore me unless spoken to. Rather, grunted in the direction of. Around the time I arrive at the office the dragon is smote by the dashing prince and crawls to her lair until the new day arrives.

6. I have more music on my iPod than I will ever get around to listening to. But I like it because I love being pleasantly surprised when my iPod introduces me to something fun while on shuffle. My iPod is really clever that way. Kudos to Apple.

7. I love tomatoes. I could live on just tomatoes.

8. In honour of Fesh's 8: In the 4th grade I got into a fight with a boy in the 6th grade because he was bullying another boy in my class. The bully was twice my size. I pinned him down and shoved his face in poop. Real poop, not chemical poop. We had a school pet called Tom the Cat who liked to leave his poop in the playground. The boy cried so hard he ended up eating some of the poop. Good times.

9. I love everyone but secretly hate everyone. But I think everyone is like that. No one is man enough to admit it, though.

10. When I eat I make this funny little movement with my lips that makes my nose move.

Now, because I will not suffer alone, I tag Bubba. And Spaz but only if she wants to. Because I am afraid of Spaz's mighty tongue of steel and Websterian mind. All hail Spaz.